I am sorry you had to see me this way
In all the years in all the scenarios I never imagined it would be like this
I am ashamed that I am not the stunner you had in mind
I am ashamed that my scars are so evident
I never intended for you to see me like this.
I never intended for you to see me.
You will always be that guy
the one I want to have
and can’t.
I hoped you could look past it all.
Past the years
and regrets
and circumstances
that hang like tattered caution tape around my body.
I hoped you could see through the shell to the core of me.
Maybe you did,and it wasn’t enough.
I guess I will never know because I am too shattered to ask.
Knowing might help
or
scatter me in the wind.
Regardless,in ignorance,I will continue to miss you.
Soon the keenness of your renewed absence will fade
and you will return to being a fond memory.
Until then,
I still love you
-Broken girl